In the aftermath of the crazy CoNʼs unanimous shellacking at the gnarled hands of the Supremacist Court over its ridiculously inept snow-removal policy and performance failures, Mayor Ghoulie and his despicable crew of cronies followed up their national embarrassment by completely botching the massive 2022 snowfalls with their annual insistence on not having enough resources or staff to clear the roads and walkways in a place that gets tons of annual snow, which they know very well about according to their own scapegoating case against our citizensʼ right to be protected from civic negligence. 

On one hand, the impotent con-men at Shitty Hall can state the blatantly obvious on our taxpayersʼ dime that we live in a mountainous town where it snows, and on the other hand they get to not plow fire-routes in the downtown core for at least three weeks since Xmas and counting. Cars and trucks battling it out on the poorly designed steep streets of the comical CoN have to back up and make room for each other single-file due to the narrow constraints of the barely plowed roads, let alone the treacherous dead-end sidewalks. Itʼs so obvious that the selfish CoN has never placed enough resources or priorities on the snow-removal file, even for their beloved drivers, so itʼs bleakly hilarious to see how badly they keep bottoming out every winter when their cheapskate Manmoron-worshipping ways catch up to them and nip their chilly asses with deserved shame and well-earned condemnation from their snowed-in constituents and baffled tourists. To add needless insult to foolish injury, the bullying CoN’s been forced by this extreme weather pattern to cancel garbage pickups and reassign workers to make up for their self-inflicted shortfall of labour, just like our healthcare system which dysfunctionally runs at peak capacity in peacetime and explodes with lethal shortfalls when the snowstorm hits. 

While this avoidable debacle is predictably playing out on your real-life screens, what is the crypto-CoN doing to make the problems they created better? Egged on by Major Ebeneezer Ghoulie, the obedient clowns on council and his fellow warlocks on staff are fighting with the rural boards over how much of the pandemic public purse they get to hoard and squander on ill-advised legal persecutions of their own victimized citizens. Even the flaky coastal city of Vancougar is able to apologize for the “gap” in their seasonal snow-removal snafus, but can the greasy snowbound CoN apologize for anything ever? How many local shovelers could have been hired instead of all those high-priced lawyers for the putrid CoN’s shutout loss in the Supremacist Court? Should we make these slick lawyers shovel our designated public walkways that the uncaring CoN rarely shovels? Is it smart to take biased civic legal advice from fancy lawyers who just want to get paid billable hours to be in court? 

Donʼt worry about the mountains of heavy snow piled up everywhere in town making things basically impassable for a huge chunk of its citizenry. Donʼt be concerned about the morally bankrupt CoNʼs well above-average unemployment rate, or the ongoing opiod-overdose disaster, or the Omaʼs Cron variant skyrocketing among your voters, or the disproportionate racism of the Nelsonia Police State whose totalitarian cops we keep hearing more and more absolutely awful stories about. Ignore that critical nonsense, says Ringmaster Ghouls, letʼs get us some of that “apportionment percentage” from the depressed regional boards who have no Covid money either! 

When the cruel keystone cops and fascistic hellhounds of the Nelsonia Police State are officially confronted by their colonial government overlords over its disturbingly disproportionate and systemically racist treatment of our Indigenous and Black populace among others, how does the CoNʼs Creep of Police respond to this well-publicized criticism of his precinctʼs discriminatory shortcomings? Forget about an apology, first of all, from anyone complicit with or unduly governed by Captain Ghoulieʼs Police Bored. No, instead of doing the right thing which theyʼll never recognize nor act upon, the cursed CoN dubiously claims that the only reason they were singled out on a list of the five most shamefully racist cities in British Colonia is because they just arrested the same Indigenous and Black individuals more than anyone else. You see, according to the sadistic CoN who overzealously harass and prosecute these disadvantaged souls without remorse or consequence on a regular basis, itʼs the fault of our racialized and mistreated folks themselves for being in distress which deceptively excuses why the New Demonic Party put the Ghoulie Gang on its warrant poster for the five most dangerously racist municipalities in the stolen land. 

Like in the old days but in reverse, is there a bounty that goes out on the boneheads of these offending patriarchal authorities to be collected by vigilante settler lynch-mobs? Or, as happens nowadays, will most everyone blindly accept the Creep of Policeʼs hollow spin-control and hide behind their jackboot mental-health tyranny in order to protect the fragile white women above all other ethical considerations? Once again, the corrupt CoNʼs perpetual inability to apologize for anything or learn any lessons from their maniacal elitism will doom our unprivileged citizens to Great Depression-era sorrows, while the Ghoulie gangsters live high-off-the-hog secure in the misbegotten knowledge that their pampered public-dime jobs are theirs for life; as long as they donʼt rock the Canamerican narco-stateʼs imperialistic navy-boat occupation of our unceded lands and defiant native peoples whom they have no right to disrespect, never mind arrest or jail without societal restraint! 

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