Remember that time I talked about tropical brain?

Whelp I think it has only gotten worse.

I’m not sure how I am going to reintegrate myself back into any sort of normalcy or Can America or the cold. If you have any suggestions I’m open to hear them!!

Here is what has been on my mind…

Who designs bathing suits? Do the designers even wear them or is it more of a conceptual thing that then is brought into reality and makes no sense. Most specifically I am puzzled by bikini bottoms. The either over or under amount of fabric and also who decided what was to much or not enough butt to show.

I may have talked about this before, I don’t remember…tropical brain… but it has jut been so in my face for the last little while and I am perplexed.

Like sometimes there are women and they have great bods and then there is sooooo much fabric covering their butts.

But then also when the bathing suit goes right up the butt, so there is full cheek but just the little ass crack is covered and then sometimes those bottoms are high -waisted?!! So you’ve got full butt on display but the hips are covered up?! So confused? Also confused with the tan line choice on that one?!

I get very confused very often about the tan line choices?!!

I guess I feel like the point of a bathing suit bottom is to cover the holes, butt and vag. Some of those up the butt ones I’m just not sure are up for the task!

Also how is full crack ok to show but not the ass cleavage at the top? When did this become a thing? But then if I don’t show crack I can shoe ass cleavage? So just not both at the same time, which would would be full naked butt. Which I have also basically seen as well. So full butts with potential for a peak at holes if the angle is right is now publicly ok?!

Then again some bottoms cover the whole cheeks entirely. Like not part of the cheek is getting any sun and that just doesn’t feel fair either!

Every now and then there will be a hot suit that makes sense and usually it is being worn by some incredibly stylish abuela. The right amount of cut on the bottom so the cheeks get some sun but not full crack, not to high-waisted with thin sides, and a nice bandeau top, not to thick at the back. Elegant, good tan lines. Makes sense.

Then you have the very infrequently worn hip to hip peeny grips (usually by Europeans, the French or homosexual men). They always have very full cheek coverage. Like, they are already showing so much heaven forbid they have any cheek free to show itself to the sun! Like up the butt with just the top triangle is not ok for them too? Why? Who decided we don’t get any man cheek?

Also the length of mens ‘board shorts’, omj, none of these men are surfing so why are they wearing swim shorts that go below their knees? Women have full crack to the point of avert your eyes unless you want to see up holes but the men must keep their knees covered?

I don’t know.

I’m lucky I even had enough tropical brain to get this post out. Plus my insanely long nails that make it a challenge to type. Which being a recovered nail biter is pretty cool, but also how far is it going to go?

I feel like this is a hot topic.

What to show in a bathing suit and how much is to much or to little?

Opinions? I’d love to hear them!

What kind of crack or knee covering does your suit show or not show?

Danke for being here!

Lady Beastie