Joining a long list of cities that have been affected by Christo-fascist conspiracy theories, conservative Nelsonia’s drag storytime at the library has been delayed or cancelled due to threats of violence from bigots who believe that such events are sexualizing their children via grooming tactics. This outlandish theory has been made popular in recent years by the white power christian evangelicals down south who spread negative propaganda about anyone who doesn’t fit their nuclear family vision of a dutiful cisgender family led by their paternalistic patriarch who is above reproach.

Unbeknownst to many outsiders who stereotype the imperial Queen City as a hippie haven for draft-dodgers and peaceful stoners, drunken Nelsonia is actually at the heart of a white power bastion of redneck right-wingers that spreads like a virus from northern Idaho and eastern Washington where insurrectionists are moving in droves to join their klan brothers all the way up to the Okanagan and beyond. During the height of the covid panic, the White Heritage City featured one of the biggest anti-mask and anti-vax protests per capita in Canamerica, which solidified a movement of Q-anon devotees that united far left-wing health nuts and right-wing social regressives in a misguided cause favouring those with privilege and Euro-legacy family money above all. Now with lockdowns and masking mandates in the rearview mirror, the empowered misogynists in charge of the rebellion against vaccinations have shifted their focus towards one of the most vulnerable populations in our society, using the playbook of historical fascists who enable the powerful percentage of the population to feel victimized at the hands of the innocents who are being harassed by their persecutors.

Instead of responding with authority and resolve, the under siege library folded under the pressure and booted the contentious issue down the road in classic Nelsonian ostrich fashion, no thanks to the non-help of the Creep of Police who refused to say whether they were investigating the case or not. The better case scenario would have entailed the citizens in the Valley of Lost Souls rallying behind the rainbow flag and insisting that the drag storytime event would still take place with the unabashed support of hundreds of locals, as has occurred in numerous other places that have been threatened by the same forces of discriminatory terror. You’d think that a library awkwardly housed in a heavily armed cop shop would be safe from any threats of violence against it no matter what the reason, but the racist Nelsonia Police State has always stood out for its halfhearted backing of any progressive issue, along with the backwards wusses at Shitty Hall.