It’s been recently revealed after many months of deception that the naive Nelsonia CARES society was defrauded in the summer of 2022, with almost six-hundred thousand dollars stolen from their vulnerable bank account with the incompetent Nelsonia Credit Union. Instead of diligently reporting the major financial crime to their public interests right when it happened, the lax board decided to hide these dramatic shortcomings from their future fundraising targets, until the incriminating item was revealed in an October board meeting summary. Then, it took two more months until late December when the sleepy reporters at the oligarchic Dark Star and the cop-owned Daily Snooze finally sniffed out the massive story hiding under their noses and partially revealed the damning truth to the citizens of the cagey CoN who had been led to believe that Nelsonia CARES and their affiliated Credit Union were capable of properly managing the huge sums of money being taken from the community in the name of social benefit and civic charity.

Now, once the story belatedly got out to the people who foot their bills, the spin doctors of Nelsonia CARES and the sketchy Credit Union jumped into action by reassuring their affected clients that they were perfectly capable of looking after the massive amounts of cash in their care, even though they had just lost more than half a million dollars due to their hacked webmail being compromised and the risky decision to send a wire transfer for one of their property mortgages that ended up opening the door for criminal opportunists to request two more wire transfers in their name, which the credit union somehow dropped the ball on and approved despite all sorts of safeguards being apparently ignored. One can only imagine all the other inessential nonsense discussed by the dopey Credit Union bosses on that fateful day when a half-mill waltzed out the door on the cyber-wires without anyone in a position of power being bothered to call over or walk down the block to Nelsonia CARES to inquire whether they really wanted a whole shit-ton of dough to go missing without so much as a second glance of caution.

In typical local media reporting fashion, the corporate-friendly Dark Star and Daily Snooze’s stupefied journalists have seemingly still not bothered to ask the simple question of whether the gargantuan transactions were preceded by the mandatory in-person identification check to ascertain whether the new signatory request from the fraudsters pretending to be Nelsonia CARES reps was on the up and up, which they most certainly were not. Is that all it takes to dupe the faux-bank across from Shitty Hall and the colonial court buildings? Remember how big of a deal it was when the bank robber attacked the Credit Union and every policeman and their dog was on the job to chase the poor drug-addicted sop who didn’t get away with anywhere near six-figure sums? Reportedly, a new added signatory authorized to ask for free money from the Credit Union’s CARES account has to present two pieces of photo ID at the corner location in the flesh, but we have no idea if that happened due to everyone involved (including the complicit softball media) wanting to insist that they’re completely capable of doing the job that they miserably failed at in the first place.

This systemic debacle comes in the wake of the pigheaded Nelsonia Police State’s interminable investigation of their online racist proclivities which has been postponed yet again until the new year, leaving the gullible public taxpayers no closer to finding out who our guilty cops are still on the beat after nearly a year of delay and obfuscation, overlaid with neverending propaganda from the Creep of Police about how we can trust a fascistic closeted organization that disproportionately arrests more Indigenous and Black folks than they do their fellow white power enablers. Buried in the half-assed reports about the keystone cops’ inept futility despite lower crime stats than normal are the unapologetic Creep’s quotes about how they need a budget increase from the public purse, even though they are beset with the above scandals including a ball-grabbing outbreak and the fact that they are experiencing “a general decline in individual performance, and a proliferation of conduct problems”. But hey, go ahead all you supposed progressive leftists on Shitty Council and fork over the extra greenbacks as expected to a misogynistic racist outdated institution that fails its own mediocre job standards. Because as we well know by now, complicit Nelsonia loves to reward its male supremacist power-brokers for being terrible at their jobs!