Why are so many people bummed out in tourist-trap Nelsonia, where it doesn’t seem like the not-so-silent WASPy majority is having much fun, even though they’re acting hard like they are? If it’s not beach bathers faking photo shoots at waterfront properties who pretend like they’re lounging on the dock for the social media sheen, but they’re really just chilling on the deck up at the big house close to the washrooms and the booze, it’s boomer Karens who are obsessed about asking local residents in a mask at the mall where they’re visiting from, because no residents apparently wear masks around the lackadaisical Queen Consort City anymore, according to a horde of nosy busybodies. If you’re wearing a mask inside mall-wart, the racist interloper ahead of you at the ridiculous self-checkout stands (or the ignorant worker popping out for a smoke, etc.) will assume that you’re not a voter of the small ‘city’ you live in, due to their overly serious belief that only tourists from the woke outside world wear masks these days, despite absentee Doctor O’Henry holding a recent press conference about the predicted upswing in pandemic cases come this fall, along with a vaccine ‘update’ against the perilous disease that some folks in the White Heritage City have already caught four or five times and counting.

While the Valley of Lost Souls is blissfully unwilling to protect its marginalized underprivileged citizens, just by wearing a simple mask as they shop in the sad-sack mall to beat the heat of the day with some good ol’ boy capitalistic splurging, the conceited community is bizarrely being “protected” by a naval security force from the coast on a recruitment drive involving mounted machine guns on their turreted boats, the detonation of explosive devices in our summery waters & the consumptions of vast amounts of burnt fossil fuels as they gunned up and down the West Arm for far too long. Imagine the plutocratic money being spent by these imperial army exercises, while Shitty Council debates about how much they’re going to have their pigheaded coppers further harass and stigmatize poor drug-users, as our Uphill food bank suffers from a cash crunch due to insane grant gauntlets for any social programs that help folks in need, of which there are many more now after the pandemic crash that almost everyone hereabouts wants to ignore as much as possible.

Why has it taken until now, after decriminalization, for Mayor B&B and Councillor Log-Bump to get all worked up about drug use in parks anyway? Were they in favour of drug use in our playgrounds around children before this year, when both of them were serving in Shitty Hall under the wrath of ex-Mayor Ghoulie for many years? At least Councillor Pinner spoke words of wisdom while he was trying in vain to stop the Nelsonia Police State from creating yet another hyper-reactive bylaw meant to repress our disenfranchised neighbours, when he pointed out that, “he was wary of the police being the tool to make the bylaw happen, for ‘if it’s just for educational purposes, I don’t see why we can’t use a different tool… I know that there is a huge history of police abuse with marginalized people and it’s going to take a lot of time for that relationship to change. I know we are in the process of that, and our city police are engaged in that process, and I think that that is great … but it is a process and we are right at the beginning of it. Using police to educate marginalized people about where we want them to be and how we want them to interact with others’ doesn’t work”. Hallelujah, someone on the public payroll finally stated the truth about our colonial keystone cops, who love to fluff the armed corporate gunmen from CP Kansas City that are more powerful than the Canamerican feds, which is tragically absurd considering how the infernal settler monolith has been so taken over and infiltrated by the militaristic Yankee Doodle Dandies that it’s not even called unCanadian nonPacific anymore — while their Manmoron minions that call their own shots report to King Chuck the Cuckolder alone. How kooky is that?

Wouldn’t it make more sense if all that gasoline, bomb & bullet cash wasted by the navy-boat occupation forces to hysterically save us from the herons, eagles, ospreys & gulls on the lake was spent instead on food for the hungry families who have been devastated financially by the ongoing pandemic fallout? Couldn’t the thin blue line enthusiasts on Shitty Council prop up their starving kids by stabilizing the capsized Food Bank, rather than deceptively claim that they’re shielding youngsters from harm on the playground as a means to further empower the anti-Indigenous bigotry of their fascistic fuzz? Again, Councillor Pin-drop brings the noise when he suggests that “council should create a package of measures aimed at poverty reduction (which) ‘would demonstrate to people on both sides that we’re not just performing for the people that are scandalized when they see a poor person and feel threatened by that, and we’re also not just blind to the people’s concerns about littering and public disorder… we’re doing both of those things’.” What a concept, eh?