Legal alcohol was one of the biggest factors in a violent incident now on trial in the Nelsonia Colonial Court, when an off-duty drunk police officer from Abby decided it would be a good idea to confront a verbally aggressive and fired-up local in the middle of the street, after the enraged passerby had attracted the attention of the reckless patio diner who then climbed over the railing and got creamed to death by the two-handed swing of a skateboard to the head, followed by a cracked skull fall on the pavement in front of dozens of horrified shocked witnesses out for a fun night on the town.

We know that the deceased cop was intoxicated due to the numerous first-hand accounts from testifiers such as the two dudes who subdued the skateboard-swinger, plus the dead man’s waitress who emphasized that the Abby flatfoot was soused and “gregarious and silly and loud”. We also know that the street-walker was pickled according to one of the vigilante eaters who tackled him down the block, yet it’s very likely that no-one will bring up the negative role of firewater in this tragic incident, even though it’s plausible to surmise that neither hopped-up white man would been compelled to commit, initiate or participate in a violent crime if both parties involved would have been stone-cold sober. 

One can also safely assume that if the pair of unfortunate pugilists had been high on some sweet Koots Roots outdoor homegrown and that’s all, there probably wouldn’t have been a brouhaha that’s now occupying a horde of lawyers and their pricey billable hours. Even though it’s generally assumed that drinking adult pops causes far more assaults and man-against-man donnybrooks than the reefer gladness, an average tourist trap like the White Heritage City always decides in its finite wisdom to license a whole murderers’ row of liquor joints, instead of sanctioning just one public place at least on the downtown main drag where stoners can light up a legal product that is still stuck behind the bars of post-modern prohibition.

It’s highly reasonable to presume that having lots of drugged madmen cruising through an urban core over-serving suds and highballs to their mostly conservative right-wing clients (even if they think they’re progressive leftists) might create a trolling situation wherein outdoor patios become a breeding ground for frat-boy stage-fighting theatrics between both inebriated lawmen and villainous rogues alike. Alas, somehow merry marijuana gets stuck with the antagonistic role by all the libation-swilling self-righteous aristocrats in the civic keystone of discontent who are drunk on their own misguided power to endorse a vengeful liquid over a peace-inducing plant.