The imperialist ʻHeritage Cityʼ is in the news yet again for all the wrong reasons due to the CoNʼs shortsighted fascistic stupidities, this time by refusing to compensate one of its taxpaying citizens who was injured trying to cross a windrow caused by Shitty Hallʼs reported inability to clear snow from its sidewalks. To add insult to injury, while insulting our intelligence, the malignant CoN argued all the way to the federal Supreme Court funded by our tax-dollars that the victim caused her own demise by not properly thinking out how she lives in a snowy town wherein she might fall down. The result of the CoN’s pompous miscalculation was a unanimous 7-0 smackdown by the unimpressed judges.

In essence, our good-hearted woman about town dared to park in a Baker Street parking spot to access one of our taxpaying storefront businesses, and according to the ill-advised CoN, she should have walked the dangerous long way round on the icy busy road to the faraway corner because they supposedly donʼt have the budget or resources or manpower to properly move some snow from their busiest pedestrian zone in the middle of winter. Thatʼs it, seriously, that was the insane CoNʼs legal defence strategy before the Supreme Court; unlike K-town, Cossland & Rastlegar which were cited as cities who avoided negligent Supreme Court lawsuits by adequately clearing their snow in a predictably wintry landscape every year without creating an injury-claim incident or the debacle of an immoral persecution of an injured citizen all the way to Ottawa and back. How long will the ignorant CoN perpetuate their endlessly losing battle to spend our hard-earned money for an unethical cause? 

To wit, the proprietor of this lovely online gallery once got into a heated debate with one of the CoN’s tyrannical bylaw officers who abusively insisted that she couldnʼt drop off her ninety year-old grandma in front of the seniors centre with a handicapped parking pass where the daft city had actually cleared their windrows. The since-retired Captain Doofus himself nonsensically argued that her handicapped Nanny needed to walk more than a lethal block over the slippery windrows on icy sidewalks instead, because that was the irrefutable law! No amount of reasonable persuasion could sway his patriarchal arrogance, so she ignored him anyway and dropped her Nanny off right there and then despite his offside protestations. What this ludicrous showdown reveals is the persistent buffoonery of the loony CoN wherein they would rather harass one of their frail elders and her helpful granddaughter, as opposed to revising their core policy guidance to just clear the blasted snow! 

The obviously failing court case of the duplicitous CoN rested on the illogical premise that they used the word ʻpolicyʼ once around their snow removal obligations to protect our citizens as mandated, while irrationally decreeing that their dopey operations were somehow immune from all liability due to snow removal being ʻcore policyʼ, when the Supreme Court judges handily pointed out that you must have a written policy about something to call it a policy. In other words, the CoN didnʼt have any policy about a policy they called a policy, which was at the heart of their inadequately foolproof legal quagmire. The ghastly Ghoulie Gang and his predecessors would rather slough off their own liable responsibilities in classic Nelsonia ostrich-style because they canʼt allocate their resources properly in a gentrified elitist tourist trap with plenty of rich spoiled boomers to foot the bills for what most people would call basic civic operations. 

Not to be outdone by the gong-show on Baker Street that is being cancelled by the Supreme Court, the Granite Head golf course where Ghoulie and his gangsters hole up is making headlines for logging a new fairway (to make up for lost revenues and mounting debt) literally right next to a great blue heron nesting site in spite of obvious flagged trees, official warnings, offers of assistance & wildlife protection laws. You know how the Golden Heron feels about its fellow birds of a feather being disrespected so! The corporate friendly Dark Star wrote a predictably objective piece about the duffersʼ irreparable ecological carnage to make way for their precious condos, and many Zuck Club commenters bemoaned Granite Headʼs callous idiocy calling for fines and suspensions; but now we’ll all get to watch and suffer as the CoNʼs exclusive cronies and the old grey mayorʼs complicit golf buddies skate away from their societal disrespect for all to see without so much as a cent of punishment or even a followup article from the flakey mainstream press. For as we know all too well, there is no justice in the unholy CoN for those who do not toe the crooked company line and kowtow to all things sanctified by Ghoulie and his savage minions. 

In this tainted vein, the vast media empire of Con Bleck took notice of our distant burg for being emblematic of the anti-vaxx crowd, and we wonder what made them think such a thing about us when the CoN enabled numerous anti-healthcare protests at Shitty Hall without so much as a peep of dissent from the Ghoulie goons, until their beloved businesses were paying the price. To quote Daphne Bramham, “far from all being overweight, poorly educated, gun-toting, religious rubes from the Prairies who vote for the Peopleʼs Party of Canada, they may be as likely to be vegans in Nelson, eco-warriors with crystals and Kitsilano moms with yoga mats tucked under their arms.” Given their delicate image as self-created authoritarians, is this how the corrupt tech-and-booze crowd at the patriarchal CoN see themselves in their merciless daydreams at work when they could be clearing snow with a shovel? 

The obvious question remains then, why does the always ʻopen for businessʼ CoN want to punish its own injured citizen (let alone the herons!) for trying to access one of its own businesses? Even though theyʼve blatantly shown the entire country just how silly, biased, selfish, illogical, inefficient & uneconomical they are, itʼs a virtual guarantee that everyone involved in the dastardly CoN will still have their unaccountable jobs-for-life at Shitty Hall come election time in 2022. The incompetent lawyers who manipulate and rule our hierarchical capstone must be even worse at their jobs than the villainous Manmorons who decided that the hapless CoN canʼt even clear snow for a day and a half after a huge storm due to its own reputedly nonexistent money troubles, and if a pedestrian who wants to shop hurts themselves on a windrow in the process, then itʼs just like everything else in the sadistic CoN wherein the innocent victim is always at fault for being hurt.

#forstmedia #opinion #goldenheron