As the primary sponsor of “Burger Month” in the White Heritage City, which featured a syringe burger in an especially lethal year of the escalating drug overdose crisis, the deceptive Dark Star wrote a headline in this week’s Hugs and Slugs column that they ripped off from the late Kootenay Expresso about how “Burger Month (is) bad for (the) planet and people” and that “to be fair, the livestock industry is a major emitter of greenhouse gasses”. These self-condemning headings were prompted by a clever “Hug”, which offered kudos “to Nelsonites who put personal and planetary health first by opting out of Burger Month (as) your food choices make a difference!”

So now that the editorial board of the “bothsidesism” Dark Star has acknowledged how their own oft-promoted Burger Month is boosting a ravenous industry which contributes to the destruction of our reeling environment, will they opt out of sponsoring next year’s animal slaughtering event, or as predicted will they continue to prioritize their consumerist celebration of red-meat carnage once again, while ignoring the important message and confession expressed in their latest stolen column gimmick? As longtime readers of the Oak Bay media baron’s oligarchic press empire know well by now, it’s more than likely that the court stenographers at the right-wing conservative Dark Star will value the almighty dollar over doing the right thing, when they’ll almost inevitably start to market next year’s Burger Month in order to benefit their remorseless moneymaking advertisers, while pretending to care about the well-being of their gluttonous carnivore audience and our endangered populace, plus all of our relations.

On the subject of refusing to learn from one’s documented mistakes, the Creep of the Nelsonia Police State continues to defend his abusive misogynistic racist officers when confronted by brave souls who dare to resist and protest against their ongoing draconian antisocial misbehaviour, even though several more examples have emerged of virtually criminal misconduct on the job by his armed enforcers of the military-industrial complex. After the second-in-command of the Nelsonia Pig State was fired for his ball-grabbing tendencies, and eight anonymous officers remain under endless investigation “for sharing ‘inappropriate content and messages including alleged racist comments’ in a WhatsApp chat group”, along with a recently criticized sergeant who stands accused of having “used excessive force in a (violent) incident”, it’s been revealed by the Office of the Police Complaint Commissioner’s 2022-2023 Annual Report that the No-good Police Department also faced previously unknown disciplinary actions following a series of inappropriate incidents in December 2020.

“In one incident, a member of the department referred to in the report as Member A (are they trying to be phallic on purpose?) entered a co-worker’s office wearing a medical mask over the front of their pants (a Member masking his member!). The member then engaged in what the report describes as inappropriate physical contact with the back of the co-worker’s chair and posed for a picture… In another incident involving Member A, the report describes ‘inappropriate sexualized conduct with Member C in front of co-workers.’ This led to a violation of the respectful workplace policy, and both members received a two-day suspension without pay, a year of close supervision, and harassment training”.

Including his first violation, the still unnamed Member A gets to hide their identity (unlike the public when being charged by the same protected keystone cops), while receiving only five days suspension in total along with the laughably absurd “close supervision” and the presumably inadequate “harassment training” by the white male power gunmen themselves. As a member of the unprotected citizenry, does this slap-on-the-wrist punishment reassure you in the slightest that such frat-boy buffoonery will not occur again? And when it probably does, will we again not know about their sadistic lunacy until at least two years too late? More than anything, if you’re a woman who’s enduring a domestic abuse incident, or dealing with sexual harassment, are these the type of boneheaded gonads you’d want to call for assistance?