The thirtysomething MLA Youth Advisor for embattled Premier Dweeby has been more visible than usual in her Nelsonia riding lately, bringing in supposed heavy-hitter ministers like Farnie and Whiteseid for some cynical spin-control designed to fend off their conservative green opponents’ growing political threat, while deflecting blame from themselves for the escalating overdose crisis in which at least nine of her voters have died already this year, and yet no-one in a monarchic position of unearned colonial power dares to talk about the wildfire smoke health emergency that is destroying our summery skies and our besieged lungs, among other harms.

A child born five years ago has known nothing but polluted skies for most of their rare summer months in the mountainous White Heritage City, and none of the well-paid industry apologists who put themselves in charge seem to be able to deal with this planetary disaster in any meaningful way, as they distract the in-denial masses from the toxic gases in their airsheds, with idle chatter about discriminatory crime prevention around their dearly beloved kowtowing businesses and semi-cancelled drag storytime events that still haven’t happened in the appeasing public library ensconced amid the pigheaded racist cop-shop.

All anyone really wanted to talk about yesterday in the Queen Consort City was the poisonous fumes that hazardously invaded the Valley of Lost Souls after weeks of air-quality advisories and cancellations in the executive-level eastern seaboard, where all the big decisions that cause this climate extreming are made. Much-anticipated weddings were being overshadowed by the destructive clouds, kids camps were swimming in tainted oxygen & bummed tourists’ scenic photo-ops were blurred by a deathly smudge of future medical bills and exorbitant hospital expenses. It’s like the business Bozos and their technocratic ilk, who want you to get in bed with Lex Musky and the Zuck Klub at all costs, believe that if they don’t acknowledge the existence of the lethal smokiness that it will just blow away in the unbreathable winds as quickly as their own gaseous spewings of hot air. However, despite all the evident signs that their imperial domineering ways have failed our ecological integrity in every conceivable fashion, the extractive high-rollers never consider another lifestyle of being that doesn’t involve bowing down to the billionaire hoarder bros who are killing us with their sick self-obsessive misogyny and white supremacist profiteering. 

We have enough proof to know that any natural ecosystem which is stewarded according to Indigenous principles of sustainable biodiversity and interactive medicinal harvests will fare much better than any stolen land governed by the authoritarian settler movement, which continues to inflict its christo-fascist sadism on the original inhabitants of Brutish Colonia. Prescient First Nations practiced their effective wildfire management since time immemorial, so of course the occult-like WASP pioneers ignore such profound universal wisdom and violently impose unlawful criminality upon ancient successful systems and decree in their fallible nonsensical arrogance that they will always be the false white saviour rapers who have brought about the downfall of our paradisiacal grove. 

Do we hear Public Unsafety Minister Freakin’ Farnie outlining how he plans to protect our safety by making sure that Heat-Dome Horgsy’s orange kool-aid disciples abandon their anti-environmental crusade and anti-Indigenous tyranny, in favour of trusting the holy ones who looked after our ‘church not made with hands’ in the first place? The crazy thing is: Conservative John ‘the Rat’ Rustad (or the Neoliberal Falconer!) will be way worse on all these existential files if and when he takes over from the Premier Dweeb, on a thin blue-line wave of Republicanazi worship inspired by Pierre LePue’s psychotic demagoguery. Has anyone heard our previously MIA MLA bring up how she’s going to spearhead her regressive government’s campaign to relinquish its combustible hold on the public purse, by handing over its ill-begotten authority to our Indigenous parties, who can show them how to care for their homelands in a manner that won’t lead to guaranteed ruin and catastrophic particulate matter in our future youths’ bloodstreams?

Just like the fraternal yes-men of King Trudy the Second, who ignored the sound guidance of the savvy observant local Indigenous population to stop running their firestarter crude coal trains during an unprecedented heatwave from hell, which the Mayor of burnt Lyttle bragged about to the world until unCanadian nonPacific apparently incinerated his yet-to-be-rebuilt town, the Manmoron minions of Beastly BC’s essentially duplicate armed and dangerous Eurocentric regimes have waltzed us into this inferno of endless smoke-clogged tourist seasons, without heeding the cease-and-desist order issued by the Indigenous leaders of this bigoted province, who are disgusted by the military-industrial complex’s predatory gangster capitalism which rules the day to the detriment of us all.