Nelsonia has a sordid history of disrespecting people’s wives, husbands & partners and getting away with it without even a slap on the wrist, let alone a period of recrimination from those who pretend to care about morals and ethics as a facade for their money-grubbing pursuit of unhappiness in a quest for selfish woes and material dissatisfaction. 

For example, when an ogre-like theatre employee told a local celebrity actress to “f*ck off!” while he was being paid by a non-profit society in a civic-owned building, nobody cared and her husband’s official protests fell on deaf ears among their supposed artistic allies for decades and counting. When the same unsupervised monster tragically in charge of the minstrel theatre’s public safety ogled underage women on-stage from his tech-booth while on headset with the same artistic colleague, her complaints were ignored. Of course, when the theatrical cult’s reported systemic negligence predictably led to a nearly lethal injury-claim incident caused by the ogre’s investigated failures, he was retired in full glory by the capitalistic anti-arts gang who worshipped him forevermore while they persecuted their mom-and-pop renters for daring to object to such abject villainy. 

Does one respond with violence when one’s lover is slandered, harassed or groped, etc., by those supposed ‘friends’ who pretend to be in your corner when they’ve really sold their souls to the devils in charge of all the failing institutions around this twisted tourist-trap? Big Willie Style is finding out what the academy of your peers will do to you if you defend your wife’s honour on an international stage with an old-fashioned cinematic slap in the face — not to mention a punch! So what happens in good ol’ colonial Nelsonia if you merely mention that you want to slug a perverted madman who insists on ogling teenagers in front of your wife and then proceeds to be an arrogant jackass when asked by her to do the basic job that he’s paid by the public purse to do? The sad-trombone answer in the klepto-CoN is that you will be persecuted, exiled & blacklisted by virtually every single one of the sycophantic hypocrites in questionable power who swear they love art while they drag their artists through the crucified muck. 

A cease-and-desist letter works well enough against the lousy painter who made the Capitalistic Theatre sign (among other imperialistic murals which disgrace our streets) due to his repeated inappropriate sexual comments towards your wife when you’re not around, but that’s only because the art-fart is a single entity not backed up by the complicit clerks in the yuppie administrative noncreative-scene who band together against victims and justice-seekers in order to maintain their bureaucratic hold on the masses. 

This is a hard-hearted place where your friend whom you work with will wrongfully fire you without restraint or compassion when the devious boss decides “there’s no place for you here” out-of-the-blue with no warning or legally required letters, and then expect you to still be their friend and for your husbands and kids to still get along just the same. This is a callous nightmare-land where employers will abuse you, violate your labour rights & ignore your human rights before they blame you for standing up against them. 

Again, you can take the legal route and fight the horrible bosses or your deceptively insulting comrades for proper compensation and win in the long-term, but is that as satisfying in the short-term as a slap to the face which some witnesses will then describe as one of the most beautiful things they’ve ever seen because we so rarely see a man stand up for a mistreated woman these days outside of the movie-houses and endless streaming shows? If you’re not a legendary star in UnHolywood, you might get jail-time for the face-slap along with expensive legal fees and more severe punishment than you would face for simply musing about how much you wanted to clock a sacred-cow abuser in our local theatre mob. When your spouse’s mental health is slandered by the Chief Finagling Officer on the sleazy CoN’s taxpayer-funded website, do you not get at least one face-slap in return for each councillor, mayor & staff-member who sat there and said nothing even though their silence is far more violent than any imaginary punch that’ll never happen? 

Is it not restorative justice to pop the ogre in the schnoz for every time he ogled and insulted young women while speaking with other subordinate women? What about the drunk fool who literally slobbers all over your cheek about how much he loves you when you’re snuggling with your wife at a wedding dance, and you know he’s the biggest rat who sold you out to the fascistic theatre sadists despite his professed claims of friendship and admiration? Can you not give him a knuckle-sandwich in the gut anymore? What about when your alcoholic bullying bosses molest and grope your pals and husband among others? You’re not allowed to settle the score promptly with a mafia-slap or two to their inebriated jowls? The end result of all this enforced pacifism is husbands and wives & the like having to process way more undue societal abusiveness than they should have to. Sure, King Dick messed up as he well knows and has apologized for when he got up on-stage with the red mist in his eyes to lay hands on Oscar, but the alternative is that he has to sit there in silence and accept the verbal aggression towards his immunocompromised wife while almost everybody laughs and smiles at his obvious physical discomfort and internal suffering? 

Adhering to the Golden Heron’s stated code of getting even without crossing the line, a wiser strategy for the Flesh Prince upon reflection would have been to warn Christ Rocks from his seat with a Harrison Fart finger-point and sterner expression saying I will see you later at the after-party where we will sort it out between family in the dark away from the cameras and rubberneckers. This way you support your composed wife while demonstrating your disapproval of the mean comedian’s unfunny joke with the intention to sort him out later with words and not assault. So when the clownishly sad jokester kisses your shellshocked MC wife on-stage while he’s performing in their community fundraiser and she comes home upset and angry at the public sexual harassment with absolutely no consequences at all for the mouthy comic from the crowd or organizers, the veteran husband who knows better waits for his moment when he next sees the timid jester offstage to set him straight about their under-the-radar dispute with a few well-aimed discreet bon mots. 

In each of the above cases, the married couple involved achieved their goals through unorthodox non-violent tactics that accomplished their pacifistic objectives while seeing the results of their unrecognized interventions on the ground in real time over the years. A slap in the face may be more pleasing at the time, but it’s best to catch the king or your friendly foes with patient strategies that enable you to vanquish your outer demons without them winning. 

#forstmedia #goldenheron #opinion #truthbombs