The main challenge with the next federal election is how much the alternative to Pierre LePue Poilievre will suck if it’s Pierre Trudeau’s princely son reoccupying the throne when the votes settle. Jagmeet the Jester is so into the bag for King Trudy the Second’s meagre handouts that he’s a non-factor again, so the only viable options for most Canamericans’ votes are the red or blue pills, which both leave a bitter after-taste while insulting your intelligence and trying your patience past the breaking point either way.

When Douglas Todd at the Vancougar Sun is writing about how the “Federal Con-servatives are feeling the love” in Brutish Colonia right now, with youth demographics and First Nations’ leaders alike singing Pepe Poilievre’s praises, how can anyone outside of the King Trudy Kult feel good about getting fired up to elect JT for four more destructively long years? With Pierre the Pepper-pot getting a makeover and the endorsements of Indigenous reps for their joint proposal to give First Nations the ability to directly tax industry on their lands, how can we deny the fact that Poilievre has a damn good opportunity to become our Primal Minister? Without the glasses, in more casual clothes, with a new hairstyle a la Darth Harper’s own glowup which won the day, Pepe Pepper-pot is nothing less than right about Canamerica’s mistreatment of our Indigenous when he declares that “the direct result of the Ottawa-knows-best approach has been poverty, substandard infrastructure and housing, unsafe drinking water and despair”.

We don’t like to agree with a man who insists he’s not like a Republicanazi down south, even when he acts just like one while being more cautious about revealing his social conservatism, but the other Pierre’s son King Trudy II has continued to worsen the terrible track-record of anti-Indigenous harmfulness wielded by his father for almost a decade now. And with the Blue King sporting a supportive Latin wife and the Red King enduring a recent public separation from Sophie, the optics and realities all point towards a decisive victory for the challenger and a calamitous defeat for the incumbent.

The biggest drag on King Trudy’s fortunes in Beastly BC is the out-of-control housing crisis, which is turning many millennials towards Team Blue for the sake of change, plus the general fatigue with Justy T’s sunny ways which have turned more gloomier and sour than ever. Ten years is the shelf life of most Canamerican PMs and a new one might be arriving just in time for the coronation of Dictator Drumpf in Yankeeland, which would usher in an era of misogynistic white male powermongers who will seek to control women’s bodies and demonize immigration while glorifying guns for as long as they can.