We start off with the breaking scandal reported by Globalization News involving yet another example of the pompous Nelsonia Police Stateʼs inherent 120 year-old structural racism, with “nearly half” of our overly armed forces accused of engaging in a hateful online chat wherein they again unmasked the toxic monoracial perversions of their previously disciplined brethren, so how can we have so many so-called ‘powerful’ anti-racists like the Black Queen and our MIA MLAs if we still employ such a racist police force, immoral mayor, pigheaded City Mangler & appeasing Shitty Council? 

Astute folks like us have been publicly calling out the complicit CoNʼs antidemocratic mindset, ethos & agenda for far too many years, but the dominant white power-brokers who claim to know better have enabled these racist male supremacists with sanctified guns despite purporting to be on the right side of her-story. This predictably horrific kind of reputation-staining debacle is what happens when sugarcoated clueless boomers allow a fascistic media regime of jackboot minions run by a paid-off bylaw officer and a right-wing tycoon to prop up a disgusting cartel of over-the-hill despots. Guess which elected public representative also conveniently just happens to rule over all the official taxpayer guns misused to disproportionately arrest Indigenous and Black individuals in this unhip playground for the rich: Mayor Ghouliani of the Nelsonia Police State Board! When you have a bigoted mayor, youʼll end up being exposed on the big-city primetime news sooner or later. 

In the ostrich spirit of feeling obliviously fine about being mediocre at everything related to civil harmony, peace, tolerance & execution, etc., the uptight sullied CoN has devolved into the elitist sort of uncreative clique wherein our quirkily fashionable artists who are accustomed to getting stared at by rude strangers in rigid Greater Albertamerica now get gawked at by the biased tech-bros here as if theyʼre the freaks when theyʼre our cultural saviours. 

At first glance on a typical summer weekday evening, discriminatory uncaring boomer yippies boozing on our main-drag patios are all we have left hereabouts, alongside the grim workmen and scuzzy scoundrels loitering in skanky alleys, due to the insane housing costs in this narco-state of real-estate profiteering and land-holding corruption where every Christo-fascist homeowner is renovicting and polishing turds as fast as they can. Patriarchal predatory capitalism leads to disenfranchised young women being abused by privileged cheeseballs who harass local teen girls on a daily basis in the gross Ghoulie Zoneʼs unappealingly hostile wasteland fuelled by its hoarding bougies. Youʼd think that the spoiled grey-hairs would want to stop the sidewalk catcalling and jailbait speculations by beefeater sugar daddies rich and poor alike, but the smug Me Generation are much too busy satisfying their own insatiable WASPy demands to pay enough attention to even notice the systemic harms unfolding beneath their aristocratic noses. Meanwhile, the poor innocents suffer while they wonder why their tainted parents wonʼt protect them. 

Speaking of boneheaded adults being complicit in the commercial extortion of youth, thereʼs nothing that Captain Ghoulie loves more than taking in a fight when a hockey game breaks out at the rink with his beer buds to cheer on the teen boys of the Nelsonia Leaves, while the misled minors pummel each other with bare fists to rapturous applause from the grownup drunk cro-mags who are there specifically for the gladiatorial pugilism that would land any of us in jail for physical assault if we punched adolescents on the street. 

After way too long, the seedier side of the barbaric klan of sadomasochistic hockey is inevitably coming to light, behind plaintiffs such as former K-town Rockettes captain “James McEwan (who) is one of several former hockey players that allege the Canadian Hockey League, the Western Hockey League and Hockey Canada were negligent by ʻperpetuating an environment that permitted, condoned, and encouraged fighting and violence in the game among the underage players that they are obliged to protect”. Just like Conductor Ghoulie lusts to sacrifice his homeless and underprivileged population to the Creel Corpsʼ keystone train cops, even though heʼs mandated by sworn oath to protect all our citizens, the conniving racists of the classist CoN worship their liable ‘non-profit’ athletic club that does jack-squat to protect its obedient youth players from fighting apart from glorifying staged scraps for their sudsy advertising partners. 

Donʼt take it from us, take it from McEwan himself, when he rightfully reflects, “I slowly [realized] that the culture of extreme violence at such a young age was extremely detrimental to myself and other children and was not a necessary part of the game”. He could easily be any one of the many Leaves alumni who says about Coach Ghoulieʼs favourite Canamerican bloodsport, “I think the CHL needs to be held accountable to the current and former players for these injuries. I want the CHL to acknowledge that what we had to do to play in the CHL as teenagers was not acceptable. Looking back at my career in the CHL, I feel like I lost part of my youth. My time in Spokane was a daze of fights”. 

Dr. Skye Arthur-Banning, a professor of Amateur Sport Management at South Carolina’s Clemson University, nailed the point home in the top-corner when she testified the “CHL has repeatedly failed to alter their stance on fighting in their affiliated leagues, thus allowing for greater potential for athlete injury”. The lucratively violent hockey mafia which embodies the Ghoulish Leprechaunʼs hardhearted approach to full-contact dictatorial politics has become so unethically divisive that even Timmy Hoʼs is bailing on Hockey Canamericaʼs golden blend of boxing, figure skating & abusive hazing rituals that goons such as our sadistic mayor insist turns kids into ram-tough misogynistic cavemen just like them and their puck-bunny obsessed cronies. 

The Grand Ghoulie is so misguidedly self-absorbed and arrogantly sociopathic when he glibly posts a condescending photo from his wealthy lake-view of his psychotic ʻcityʼ which he doesnʼt even live in. As his frazzled fuzz speed around with sirens blaring and failing to deal with rampant mental health crises on the mean streets of Ghoulieville, and chauvinistic rogues harangue and verbally harass teenagers around every corner and in every alley, our malevolent mayor gets to kick back at his beachfront castle (while the kiddie-pool is closed again for the summer due to his eternal incompetence) and pretend all is well in this beleaguered and depressed fief overrun with white power enablers and sycophants. 

The Greedy Ghoulsterʼs Fakebox account was chock-full of christian nationalistic fervour with nary a mention of Indigenous suffering in regards to this yearʼs colonial frat-party. Like the true freedom-frucker fascist that he is, imperial maple leaves fell all over his authoritarian feed, wherein he specifically ignored the logical comments of one of his thoughtful constituents who knowingly questioned what he was doing “on this day to recognize Indigenous people?” His conscientious voter expressed a wish for him to wear orange, but of course, the Christo-fascist Canuck just had to sport red and black like his favourite compromised hockey cult. Is the white-bred pancake breakfast on Baked Street for Cana-duh Daze really “world famous”, as Mad Dog Ghouls claimed in his belated program schedule post at midnight the day before? Does he even realize that so many nice folks who used to tolerate narcissistic Nelsonia no longer come here because of how sick and twisted with avarice and gluttony itʼs become under his prejudicial watch? 

When Count Ghouls is bragging about a tepid crowd, sunshine & instrumental tunes be- ing butchered by a whitewashed brass-band playing seventies Nordic pop, itʼs as if he lives in an alternative fantasy of his own devise where nothing bad has ever happened in his White Master Heritage Plan still barely recovering from the pandemic calamity, which the shortsighted Manmorons at Shitty Hall couldnʼt see coming even though they were warned by concerned citizens that an insular bubble of golf and booze wouldnʼt keep us safe, no matter how much wishful thinking treacle they posted on their pro-civic propaganda threads. Is it because tourism numbers are down that our manic mayor is acting as if heʼs a tour guide for visitors to his bizarro world thirst-trap, where him and his corporate back-room boys in the construction industrial nightmare have destroyed our civic plaza in the heart of the first kinda-free travelling summer in years? The evangelical christian Prestigious resort must be furious about the noise-pollution damage to their bottom-line which has emptied their waterfront patio and rendered foot traffic uninviting at best, so one can only guess how perturbed the local First Nations bands must be to have their lakeshore environment manipulated once more by white settlers without their input or participation. When native activists talk about the Land Back movement, does a patriotic anti-choice Catholic like our monstrous mayor even know what they mean? 

It almost goes without saying that the Ghoulie Gang would blanche in pale-faced Eurocentric horror at the begrudging thought of giving up any of their cruel white power when they hear that, “This Indigenous-led call to action has gained ground in recent years following the accumulation of events both past and present: The Truth and Reconciliation Commission, the National Inquiry about Murdered and Missing Indigenous Women, the Canadian pipeline and railroad protests of 2020, the 30th anniversary of the Oka Crisis, the still ongoing boil-water advisories and the housing shortage in First Nations and northern communities, the discovery of the unmarked graves of the Residential Schools and the unbolting of the statues of John A. Macdonald across the country. The Land Back movement is a clear call for decolonization. How can we best protect the biodiversity, the lands, and the waters? The first step would be to return the land to its traditional, legitimate protectors. The return to Indigenous knowledge goes beyond symbolic gestures of recognition or inclusion to significantly change practices and structures”. 

The Wizard of Ghouls gets the part about wielding meaningless tokens and useless symbolism to placate the aging vampiric manservants at his beck-and-call who yearn to control their scarlet women just like him, but he bristles at any suggestion of surrendering an iota of his patronizing authority to Indigenous interests, if not outright ignoring them. John Stoehr captures the lust for white power that Tory-voting Old Man Ghouls will only give up with his cold dead hands: “I donʼt think the respectable white people who populate places like (Nelsonia) are champions of white power. If choosing between a liberal Democrat and a fascist (Conservative), Iʼm confident theyʼd make the right choice. But respectable white people, who determine so much of the direction and scope of our national politics, are nonetheless the principal beneficiaries of white power. They are the property owners, the bourgeoisie, the social class elected officials turn to when charting a respectable position on any given issue. As the principal beneficiaries of white power, respectable white people are more often than not insulated from or im- mune to the consequences of a political partyʼs decision to go to war with democracy”. 

“Will respectable white people understand that the (Conservatives) are responsible for the chaos and anarchy, for the upheaval of the established order? Or will they turn to the (Conservatives) to protect them from the chaos and anarchy that the (Conservatives) created?” Most of the yippie drunkards on Baked Street have become misinformed neocons in their coddled dotage, so we all know that Grandmaster Ghoulie will get their ill-advised votes if he runs for reelection yet again to torment non-white souls even further. 

In these daunting days, itʼs often wise to give the last words to the prescient Chauncey DeVega, as he uncannily also appears to be describing the bureaucratic clerks at Shitty Hall led by Major Ghoulie when he writes that, “Today’s (Conservative)-fascists imagine a world of rules and hierarchies: White people over Black and brown people, men over women, right-wing Christians over all other faiths and non-believers, and the rich over everyone else. The moneyed classes will have total power over the poor, the working class and the middle class, most likely all of those outside the top 5 percent. Lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and trans people will be virtually erased from (Canamerican) soci- ety, and perhaps literally disappeared. Other marginalized groups, including people with disabilities and undocumented immigrants, will face similar fates. The ʻrightsʼ of property, corporations and guns will fully supersede those of human beings, the natural world and the commons. ʻDemocracyʼ will exist in name only, and in practice will be what political scientists call ʻcompetitive authoritarianismʼ or perhaps even an outright authoritarian state adapted to fit the mold of (Canamerican) exceptionalism”. 

“None of this should be a surprise to anyone. (The Conservatives) and ʻconservativesʼ have been publicly announcing and telegraphing their plans to end (Canamerican) democracy — and to reject pluralism and human rights more broadly — for decades. In their own fashion, they have been direct and polite: They have told us what they would do, and then they have done it. Too many (Canamericans) — especially leading Democrats and mainstream liberals, along with the guardians of approved public discourse in the national media — have continued to tell themselves comforting lies. (The Conservatives) are ʻexaggeratingʼ or being ʻhyperbolicʼ because ʻwe are all (Canamericans)ʼ who have ʻthe same fundamental valuesʼ. Those comforting lies were always cowardly, now they are just contemptible. In fact, the (Conservative)-fascists and their allies told us clearly who and what they were from the beginning. The question now becomes whether it is too late for the majority of (Canamericans) to take them at their word, and use the precious time remaining to defend, preserve and rebuild our democracy.” 

#opinion #thegoldenheron #forstmedia