hihi, how’s it going where you are?

i am currently not vibe-ing on capitals apparently, and also feeling everything at once. does that ever happen to you?

both the no capital vibe and all the feeling all the things all at once vibe?

the sky is blue and it is actually warmish and the garden and spring and clouds and smells are amazing and i am alive and that is the main best thing and i feel it. deeply. breathing it in.

but also why are people just so…. for example, grandmas speeding through the school zones, and all the so many other unknowing open displays of whiteness and imposing selfish colonial yuck working so hard to prove itself and dominate and ugh and it is a gross energy and so prevalent in society and it is also so scary and confuses me. so there are those kinda feelings. like of wtf ewwwww.

also the lack of fury and protest and socials protests et al over the killing of so many children beyond puzzles me? why was the George F. reaction so different? we looked inward (hopefully) and worked to see and dismantle our racism and the rage and the fury and all of it and now this and there is nothing? wtaf. i am genuinely perplexed? it hurts my head. while the sky is blue my heart hurts too. and while i am happy i am mad alsu.  (i know it’s not a word but it completes the rhyme, don’t boss me around grammar. not today.)

and also i really want to get my new walking vlogs edited and done to share because i am doing fun new content things soon and i need to catch up with myself but it is so beautiful and the sky is blue and even though i am letting go of my garden and giving up my gardening this year i have a bunch of gardening that i want to do that will feel good to do and that i am privileged to be able to do and have my health alsu. even though i need to keep packing up and getting ready to leave and for the next chapter too. which is all both exciting and scary also too alsu.

thank you for letting me share so freely all the feelings i’m feeling. how are your feelings? are you feeling a lot too?

i will figure out how to do it all. i always seem to. bit of this and that.

danke for being here,


#forstmedia #otobealive #feelyourfeelings