Even though the devilish CoN’s a discriminatory Christo-fascist heritage enclave rife with patriarchal exploitations that only benefit the dicks in its cultish industrial coven, Councillor Pager’s call for Christian festiveness where there is none in a time of great societal disconnections was denied by Wormtongue Inc.’s fear of putting on an event of any type. What are they scared of, all the goblins who ‘trespass’ in Shitty Hall that were encouraged by the Ghoulie Gang’s reluctance to offend their white-supremacist constituents? 

Every other town has a Santa parade or a lights festival, while the miserably depressed CoN puts up half-assed white lights on its tree-trunks and calls it a day for the season. Nelsonia used to host a delightful arrival of Santa onto Baked St. that worked perfectly in its simplicity as he lit up the city’s Xmas trees, but like most things in an artsy weed town hijacked by tech and booze they tried to fix something that wasn’t broken and now we can’t even have a single Santa-related event at all? No reindeer, no elves, nothing? At least the rink and the mall had Santa appearances, but those are all paid enterprises, so it’s abominable that the corrupted CoN couldn’t use some of their CPR bribe money on a little festive spirit. But as Ghoulie exhibits every year with his toxic malevolence, the answer to Nephew Pager’s one Xmas request for Mayor Scrooge is ‘Bah, Humbug’! 

Even our MLA’s staged Xmas photo with her resembling a stressed-out elf trying to appear joyful while stranded on the roadside with a wincing grimace of a smile on her face has been tarnished by controversy, as the article accompanying her scared halfling picture describes how she was ‘harassed’ at a highway rest-stop by a couple of pricks angry about the impact of restrictions caused by our steadily paid leaders who have failed every covid-related test so far and counting with the Omicron kaiju just starting to stomp and whale on our racist populace who are only scared now that their fellow WASPs are catching the disease which has ravaged our nonwhite communities for two years. 

This is the same neophyte MLA that used to be a half-term CoN councillor who sat there and said nothing when Ghoulie’s despicable mini-me CFO slandered the mental health — on the record and posted online by our civic taxpayers’ website! — of some poor citizens who dared to protest being threatened with jail-time and $10,000 fines by unmasked, non social-distancing jackboots from Greater Alberta driving unmarked minivans and overly armed wearing bulletproof vests. In the twisted spirit of protecting CPR’s illegitimate ‘trespassing’ laws, our ostrich MLA, Major Ghoulie & the rest of his ever-timid council endorsed Darth CFO’s unethical attack with their submissive silence that was later censured and reprimanded by a Human Resources minion, and then our sly MLA made matters worse by laughing (and sarcastically saying ‘good luck’!) when said citizens asked for a rightful apology of some sort from the always unapologetic CoN. 

While the Ghoulie Gang and Horgsy’s boomer-like Youth Advisor were staunchly defending a military-run corporate bully’s unjust right to persecute local mothers and children (who just want to access the low-income grocery store from downtown on foot without having to go a kilometre out of their way because the CoN-endorsed Yankee rail abusers can’t even be bothered to put in a pedestrian railroad-crossing of any sort ever on its polluted disaster site), the same sadistic politicos and sycophantic staff at Shitty Hall couldn’t be bothered to write their own ‘Trespassing Act’ to protect themselves and their citizens as mandated from the anti-vaxxers’ inevitable protest in its workspace. 

So again, the complicit gentrification scam called the Corporation of the City of Nelsonia would rather fight and slander its own safety-conscious citizens on behalf of keystone cop super-spreaders from Edmonton in town for their covert anti-Safety Blitz, instead of standing up for its own workplace liabilities and insurance risks when invaded by misguided colonialists who just so happen to be on the same side as Lisbet’s paramilitary forces that were ironically protected by our appeasing MLA and the ghoulish CoN against their humble townsfolk in the fearful heart of a mishandled pandemic which continues to depress the ‘Valley of Lost Souls’ to the point where nobody seems to like this mutated version of what used to be a fairly decent place to live wherein diversity was celebrated, rather than elitist fascism, real-estate land thefts & ongoing corporate army occupations. 

To be clear, our elfish MLA should not be ‘harassed’ by random constituents on the side of the road in a snowstorm; yet perhaps her karma might have been better if she hadn’t acquiesced to the same uncivil venom when it was wielded by Yankee-led brownshirt thugs without masks who rolled up on more than sixty people who live here and harassed them according to privilege and homeless status in a royally sanctioned blitz- krieg. When our absentee MLA (who lost so many votes traditionally won by her Nihilist Democratic predecessor) is faced with the same lesser threats presented by two irate rednecks without guns or the arbitrary power to arrest, prosecute & jail her, she runs to the medias and expects everyone on the blue side of the law to protectively rally to her cause due to the alleged terror of some unfriendly words and unkind attitudes. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be ‘harassed’ by a pair of loudmouths whom I can legally drive away from without legal recourse in the company of my loyal staff than face-off against an overzealous squad of crown narcs hellbent on terrorizing women, kids & the homeless with insanely disproportionate and historically-proven threats of pandemic jail-time and five-figure fines in a wildly unemployed tourist-trap where even Wormtongue from the Crypt of Commercialism can see that times are tough for local wallets and anyone including himself who wants to put on a seasonal event for the unloved masses. 

Imagine if the Chief Financial Oppressor of the unholy CoN now publicly slandered our besieged MLA’s mental health online in a civically created Youtuber video for having the audacity to complain to the so-called authorities about her rough treatment by a couple of country hicks who took the opportunity to shout out what many of her voters absolutely agree with. Would any Ghoulie Gangster be let off the meathook so serenely for agreeing with the CFO’s immoral mental health slander if they were talking about their bullied former councillor and not just two of our truthful civilians who objected to being ganged up on by uncaring militaristic goons from Greater Alberta that are far more dangerous to one’s health, pocketbook & freedom with their lethal weapons that are far more deadly than sticks-and-stones and shouted words which will never hurt you? 

In other cheerier terms, Merry Xmas and Happy Holidays everybody, but just remember that we now live in boozy tech-ridden Ghoulieville as opposed to the lovely Bedford Falls that many of us moved to long ago in search of a place where Grinches and Scrooges & Potters pay some sort of lighthearted price for their incessant curmudgeonliness and lustful desire to cause pain over pleasure, when they all had a chance to spread Xmas cheer on our dime rather than squash us with their selfish embrace of hurtful establishment whiteness and protect-the-white-women villainy. If we’re the Heritage City, what kind of heritage are we secretly talking about? This year, the new tradition in the diabolical CoN is no Xmas at all, kids! So enjoy your lumps of coal as they’re trucked in on unridable trains you can’t catch to anywhere, and forget about the Polar Espresso or even the deceitful Holiday Train propaganda – it’s the pandemic, you see! 

#forstmedia #opinion #FFS #goldenheron #happyholidays