No Matter where you go,

No matter what you do,

You are always there,

You are still with you.

And so if you are going through stuff in life, just because you change locations or directions or any of the things, you can’t change you. I mean you can in a way, change beliefs or learn about boundaries or self love or how you want to be in the world. But those defining things that make you you are still always there. And the expectations of what you think is going to be is never quite like how it actually is.

I can tell I have a lot to learn from the people here in Mexico. Call it my trauma or what have you but I generally have a constant existential crisis about who I am? Why I am on this earth as me? What I am meant to do? Am I enough? Am I doing enough? Have I fulfilled my potential? What do I have to give? What does the future hold and all that jazz. And as I walk by the man who is lounging on his chair, every time I walk by, with his garage door to his…store?! half open, on his phone with the T.V. on in the background, I wonder does he constantly ask himself those questions? Or is he just doing what he is doing and that is what he is doing and that is enough?

Is just being alive and healthy and present enough?

I do realize my privilege to be doing what I am doing this winter. It is something I have always been curious about and wanted to do. So even if it is the only time (I hope not) I want to take it all in and learn what I can from the experience and not get down on myself because of my go to feeling of unworthiness. I am so fortunate to get to have this experience. And yes I journal and practice daily gratitudes and meditations and all the things all the gurus say are good to do!

Do you have these feelings? What are things you do that make you feel grounded and worthy?

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Hope you are all well and staying warm, wherever you are!

Danke super mucho for being here!

Lady Beastie